My revelation was: I do not have to care. I have no investment in the big skeletal winter warriors who can turn entire villages into an iced-up freezer shelf.

I'm sure it's great if you're an avowed fan, but I have no idea who any of the women involved are, or indeed, why almost all of them want to rub their nipples over Geralt. But I 've figured out that I was trying too hard to force myself to care about the main plot, which is a thing I do not care about at all. It's taken me so long to realise my problem, that The Witcher 3 is now old enough that we should be having discussions about whether it was too young to start school this year, and whether maybe we should have waited. Can't believe I agreed to do this for their starting rate But I have come up with a solution, and that is to ignore almost all of The Witcher 3. The Witcher 3 would go more smoothly without me, the equivalent of an unqualified middle-manager, forcing my involvement on Geralt. I ran into trouble playing it last night, for example, because I could not figure out how to brew more of the Swallow potion. Neither do I feel like I am a protector helping Geralt along, because he is clearly much better at his job without me, given all his expertise in monsters and the seven different types of weeds that'll kill them and such. Everyman type, he is a strongly characterised man whose history I do not know - and which I'm not prepared to read an entire library worth of books or play two previous very long games to uncover, thank you very much. Or maybe the planks of a grim, windowless wooden hut? Basically, I find it really difficult to inhabit Geralt. But playing it was like running into a brick wall. It got recommended to me loads because it's a big flouncy fantasy RPG, which is my type of thing. It has taken me a long, long time to figure out how I, personally, can enjoy The Witcher 3.

Happy birthday Geralt, you big hairy baby! The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt is five years old today! Can you believe it? We're celebrating it with The Witcher 3 Anniversary tag today.

Witcher 3 little red best choice